The latter, represented by a doddering Frank Langella, slinks out of the courtroom in shame after admitting that he took up men after surviving an affair with the defendant. And Madonna, who sucked God's toes in her video "Like a Prayer," and Dafoe, who played the man himself in "The Last Temptation of Christ," seem perversely well suited to what is at its core a fundamentalist indictment of alternative sexual practices.īrad Mirman, who wrote this hash of "Presumed Innocent," "Basic Instinct" and "9 1/2 Weeks," betrays a true 1950s mind-set when it comes to both the sexually aggressive woman and homosexual man. The characters, for all their sacrilege, seem to be stuck with the tenets learned in Sunday school. She gets the upper hand in the ensuing clash of wills, but the director, German-born and Jesuit-trained Uli Edel ("Last Exit to Brooklyn"), makes sure she gets hers in the end, if you know what I mean. Since Dafoe's been enjoying her painful ministrations himself lately, he doubtless worries that his outspoken client will spill the beans about their increasingly kinky affair. Naturally her attorney had urged her not to take the stand, but she was determined to make the jury understand that her love for Andrew - who gave her handcuffs for Valentine's Day - was different, but not dirty. "Andrew used to say, 'Why watch strangers when you can watch friends,' " recalls the accused in tearful testimony she hopes will sway the prudish jurors. She's on trial for the murder of a wealthy heart patient who dies in the saddle - shoot, he was probably even wearing spurs - while watching a videotape of an earlier performance. The film, which might as well be an adaptation of her "Sex" book, is a bland, utterly silly, curiously provincial courtroom drama that pits Madonna's dominatrix against Willem Dafoe's strait-laced attorney. Actually, even they expect saucier fare than Madonna serves up in her new movie "Body of Evidence." Madonna is a case of arrested development if ever there was one the brittle bottle blonde's continued status as the Andy Warhol of sex depends solely on how long her naked egoism remains of interest to anybody but dirty old men. It turns out later he's not a very reliable witness.Madonna, that pop tart, likes nothing better than a game of "if you'll show me yours, then I'll show you mine." On second thought, forget about yours. We are told by one witness that sex with the Madonna character is intense. All of the paraphernalia and lore of S & M sexuality are here, but none of the passion or even enjoyment. When it comes to eroticism, "Body of Evidence" is like Madonna's new book. What does she dedicate her life to? She answers that question in one of the movie's funniest lines, which unfortunately cannot be printed here. We are asked to believe that Madonna lives on a luxury houseboat, where she parades in front of the windows naked at all hours, yet somehow doesn't attract a crowd, not even of appreciative lobstermen. There's all kinds of murky plot debris involving nasal spray with cocaine in it, ghosts from the past, bizarre sex, and lots of nudity. What about the story here? It has to be seen to be believed - something I do not advise. She's just an extra trying to grab some extra business.īut enough on the technical side. We in the audience are alerted that the movie is establishing her for a later payoff. One example: Dafoe is addressing his opening remarks to the jury, and the camera pulls focus so that we see an attractive young female juror sitting in the front row. I don't know whether to blame the director, the cinematographer or the editor for some of the inept choices in this movie. That's a typical exchange in the courtroom scenes, which involve Dafoe being reprimanded by the judge for just about every breath he draws. a city small enough, Madonna volunteers from the witness stand, that she once dated a guy who dated a girl who dated Mantegna. Willem Dafoe plays the defense attorney who firmly believes Madonna is innocent, or in any event very sexy, and Joe Mantegna has the Hamilton Burger role. But she's innocent, she protests - and indeed there is another obvious suspect, the millionaire's private secretary ( Anne Archer), who is also his spurned former lover.
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